By Nancy Wasson
Relationship-magic
How to get a spouse’s attention so that he or she will communicate with you is an issue that mystifies many couples. Spouses report trying many techniques, such as trying to talk rationally and logically, watching to see when a spouse is in a good mood, and waiting for a time when the television is off. They also share stories of begging, pleading, threatening, and finally, yelling and screaming.
If you are having problems getting your spouse to talk to you and to share feelings and opinions, here are some additional things you can do to facilitate communication. First, you have to grab your spouse’s attention, which is what these tips are designed to do.
1.When you’re talking to your spouse and start getting overly-emotional, lower your voice instead of raising it. This breaks the pattern of tempers escalating, followed by loud yelling. If your spouse asks what you’re doing, just say that you read that lowering your voice was a way to defuse anger. Maybe your partner will decide to try it, too.
2.Write your spouse a letter or e-mail stating your feelings, requests, or questions. Include how not talking about or resolving the issues is affecting you. For example, you might say, “When you call me horrible names, I feel like I’ve been betrayed. I don’t want anything to lessen my love for you, but I know that if this continues, I won’t feel the same way toward you. Can we please agree not to call each other names (or can we make an appointment with a marriage counselor, etc.)?”
3.Buy a cute, funny, or clever greeting card and include a note asking if you can schedule a time to talk to him when you both will be uninterrupted. Some spouses have an easier time talking to their partner in a restaurant over dinner, so you could suggest making plans for going out for a meal.
Obviously, you wouldn’t want to discuss your most emotional issues in public, but maybe you could use the occasion to handle some relatively routine things. And then agree on a future time to talk about the more sensitive topics.
4.When you give your spouse a card or note asking if you can schedule a time to talk, include his or her favorite candy bar or a package of chewing gum—some small item that shows you pay attention to what your partner likes. With a candy bar, you might attach a note that says, “To my sweet Sweetie—could you please let me know when we can schedule a time to talk? Thanks so much. Enjoy the candy!”
5.Make a written list of your questions and include a “yes” and “no” box next to the question. Also include boxes that say “Undecided” and “Need More Details.” Be as specific as you can. For example, you might make a list of possible activities and places to go on a “date night” and ask your partner to respond. In that case, you would put a category of “Other suggestions” at the bottom so your spouse could include additional ideas. Or you could make a list of possible times during the week that the two of you could reserve for private talks. Another idea is to make a list of things you think are important to resolve, and see if your spouse agrees or disagrees.
6.Look for something to “trade” with your spouse, such as offering to take the kids to a movie so your spouse can have friends over or enjoy some private time to relax. In return, negotiate for an uninterrupted time to discuss pertinent relationship issues—maybe a relative can keep the children or they can spend a weekend afternoon with friends. Or you might offer to do a certain chore that your partner detests doing in exchange for some “talk time,” which your spouse may equate with being slowly tortured. Make a creative trade-off.
7.Just because you think the tips won’t work, don’t prematurely discount them. I have worked with numerous clients in marriage counseling who have tried these tips or variations of them, and the results have often been amazing. Spouses who don’t normally express feelings verbally sometimes respond in writing, much to the astonishment of their partners. In other cases, spouses who receive letters have initiated conversations about how the letter has opened their eyes to things they didn’t realize before.
Use these seven tips to jumpstart your thinking about different ways to open communication channels with your spouse. And if one attempt falls flat, try another. That’s what all successful researchers do—and they don’t hide behind the words, ‘It’ll never work.” Experiment with an open mind and you may be surprised at the results.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you improve your marriage. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nancy_Wasson
http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage-Counseling-Tips:-What-to-Do-When-Your-Spouse-Wont-Talk&id=19436
Relationship-magic
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Friday, June 30, 2006
Pedestaling
By Charles Needham
In this article I would like to bring up a problem that many players encounter in their early days of the game, a problem that can either be devastating to your game and life for a while, or just a minor setback. Many people learn this the hard way, but you can prevent it if you pay attention for the next few minutes.
"Pedestaling" Is the term I use for when you put a girl on a pedestal in your mind, and start to think she is absolutely perfect. When you start to have feelings for her and get nervous around her, and hope she is attracted to you, because you are dependant on her. The consequences of this situation can be devastating, so I am going to help you become aware of the symptoms, how it gradually develops, and then how to become aware of it and prevent the situation from happening ever again.
Putting a girl on a pedestal in your mind usually happens when you first meet her, and get alot of positive signs and flirting from her. You met a girl at school or maybe in a club, the place doesn't matter. You approached her and all went well, you got some positive signs and closed with her number, maybe you even set up a date with her. You come home that night and absolutley cannot stop thinking about her, and thinking about all the things she did, going over her actions in your mind trying to decide whether she likes you or not. She may not have been perfect, I guarantee flaws in one way or another, but nevertheless when you think about her you begin to imagine perfection. After thinking about her some more, you start to feel nervous when you think about her. You want to call her and talk to her so you can be reassured that she is still attracted to you. Soon you become dependent on her and really start to obsess over her. These actions cause you to be nervous around her, and start being nice and giving in to her demands. You forget all your skills you learned and can hardly think when you are around her. The guy with rock solid game and confidence tht she met a week back at the club has returned to his former AFC self, without realizing he did it. Realizing that her attraction to you has disappeared, she finds a new guy who fits her desires. When you realize she is not attracted to you, you snap and become angry at her, and she leaves you forever to be with the guy who outgamed you. Now you cannot stop thinking about her and how perfect she was, and that you cannot ever have her back, and it was all your fault. Not all cases of pedestaling are that severe, but it can be that severe, and leave you depressed and frustrated for months. Almost a year ago, that was how I experienced it, and it wasnt pretty, but it motivated me to become much better with women.
So now that we know how pedestaling happens, lets look at what caused this to happen and how we can prevent before it ever starts. The first mistake came the night you met her. When you go out to meet girls, try to have at least a few other options on stand by at the time, and conecntrate on each of them at the same time. If you are just starting out and don't have a bunch of girls, make sure you hit on multiple girls the night you go out to pick them up, instead of being satisfied with one. If you go for multiple girls in the same night and they see it, it will also make them jealous and their attraction for you will increase. This will keep you from concentrating all your game on one girl, and developing "one-itis", where she is the only girl you pay attention to when you just met her and the attraction isn't shared. When you are in the beginning stages of developing connections with girls, try to be dating or trying to gain the attraction of multiple girls at the same time and have many options. If you are trying to start a relationship with the girl keep options open until the deal is sealed and you two are exclusive. When you meet the girl at the club, just get to know her a little bit and then close it with her number, don't linger for too long. Go and meet multiple girls that night so you have more than one girl on your mind when you go home, or better yet have something besides girls on your mind.
The next mistake made was thinking the girl was perfect. No matter how hot she was, (and she should have been hot, you don't have to settle for someone that you aren't attracted in some way to) she has flaws, she is not perfect, your mind just made her out to be perfect. Notice the flaws in her appearance, personality, anything you can see, there is always something, you just have to open your eyes to see it. If you have trouble finding any, then just look at her as if you are superior, as if you are the prize, and she has to impress you and work for your affection, and that you arent playing games or waiting around, and that you are the master of the games women play, and she has no chance of messing with you, and that choosing another guy over you would be the wrong choice.
The next mistake was being dependant on her, and caring what she thinks. Why would a girl like you the night you guys met, and then gradually lose her attraction for you as you guys started dating, while yours for her only increased? The answer to that question would be that you were a different person when you first met her. When you first met her you were layed back and confident, then as time progressed you became a chump all over again. Even after you have met the girl date other girls and have a lot of options, because you never know whether she will be attracted to you or not, and keep alot of girls in reserve, so you don't become dependant, because you never know what will happen. Hell, even if you are in an exclusive relationship and do not want to cheat, still make sure you always have girls in reserve, and are always meeting new ones, because life is unpredictable. Dont constantly think about her, try to have other things on your mind and go out and do things to get your mind off of women in general. Let her call you and talk to you, let her know you are independent and don't need her.
If you find out she isn't attracted to you, don't go off on her, just brush it off and act like nothing happened and you don't need her, and also don't settle for any of that "We can still be friends" bullcrap they give you, cause that won't work out, just remove them from your life, because if no attraction is there, you shouldn't be sticking around with her. You should be fine if it doesn't work out because you have tons of girls that would die to have you, right? You are the man, and any girl would be lucky to be able to enjoy your company, so go out and play the field, and get your mind off her. If you do those things, then she will be out of your mind in no time. If you followed the steps, then next time you won't put her on a pedestal to begin with. There is a fine line between being in a relationship and being obsessed. You can be in a relationship and still be a player about it.
Most people have to learn the lesson I just explained the hard way, but if you can prevent this situation from happening, you can save yourself alot of time, trouble, and anger. Just don't become dependant on a girl, always know she is not perfect, and she is lucky to have you.
Brought to you by:
SuperMan
www.overnightplayer.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_Needham
pedestaling pedestalling pedastaling
relationship magic
In this article I would like to bring up a problem that many players encounter in their early days of the game, a problem that can either be devastating to your game and life for a while, or just a minor setback. Many people learn this the hard way, but you can prevent it if you pay attention for the next few minutes.
"Pedestaling" Is the term I use for when you put a girl on a pedestal in your mind, and start to think she is absolutely perfect. When you start to have feelings for her and get nervous around her, and hope she is attracted to you, because you are dependant on her. The consequences of this situation can be devastating, so I am going to help you become aware of the symptoms, how it gradually develops, and then how to become aware of it and prevent the situation from happening ever again.
Putting a girl on a pedestal in your mind usually happens when you first meet her, and get alot of positive signs and flirting from her. You met a girl at school or maybe in a club, the place doesn't matter. You approached her and all went well, you got some positive signs and closed with her number, maybe you even set up a date with her. You come home that night and absolutley cannot stop thinking about her, and thinking about all the things she did, going over her actions in your mind trying to decide whether she likes you or not. She may not have been perfect, I guarantee flaws in one way or another, but nevertheless when you think about her you begin to imagine perfection. After thinking about her some more, you start to feel nervous when you think about her. You want to call her and talk to her so you can be reassured that she is still attracted to you. Soon you become dependent on her and really start to obsess over her. These actions cause you to be nervous around her, and start being nice and giving in to her demands. You forget all your skills you learned and can hardly think when you are around her. The guy with rock solid game and confidence tht she met a week back at the club has returned to his former AFC self, without realizing he did it. Realizing that her attraction to you has disappeared, she finds a new guy who fits her desires. When you realize she is not attracted to you, you snap and become angry at her, and she leaves you forever to be with the guy who outgamed you. Now you cannot stop thinking about her and how perfect she was, and that you cannot ever have her back, and it was all your fault. Not all cases of pedestaling are that severe, but it can be that severe, and leave you depressed and frustrated for months. Almost a year ago, that was how I experienced it, and it wasnt pretty, but it motivated me to become much better with women.
So now that we know how pedestaling happens, lets look at what caused this to happen and how we can prevent before it ever starts. The first mistake came the night you met her. When you go out to meet girls, try to have at least a few other options on stand by at the time, and conecntrate on each of them at the same time. If you are just starting out and don't have a bunch of girls, make sure you hit on multiple girls the night you go out to pick them up, instead of being satisfied with one. If you go for multiple girls in the same night and they see it, it will also make them jealous and their attraction for you will increase. This will keep you from concentrating all your game on one girl, and developing "one-itis", where she is the only girl you pay attention to when you just met her and the attraction isn't shared. When you are in the beginning stages of developing connections with girls, try to be dating or trying to gain the attraction of multiple girls at the same time and have many options. If you are trying to start a relationship with the girl keep options open until the deal is sealed and you two are exclusive. When you meet the girl at the club, just get to know her a little bit and then close it with her number, don't linger for too long. Go and meet multiple girls that night so you have more than one girl on your mind when you go home, or better yet have something besides girls on your mind.
The next mistake made was thinking the girl was perfect. No matter how hot she was, (and she should have been hot, you don't have to settle for someone that you aren't attracted in some way to) she has flaws, she is not perfect, your mind just made her out to be perfect. Notice the flaws in her appearance, personality, anything you can see, there is always something, you just have to open your eyes to see it. If you have trouble finding any, then just look at her as if you are superior, as if you are the prize, and she has to impress you and work for your affection, and that you arent playing games or waiting around, and that you are the master of the games women play, and she has no chance of messing with you, and that choosing another guy over you would be the wrong choice.
The next mistake was being dependant on her, and caring what she thinks. Why would a girl like you the night you guys met, and then gradually lose her attraction for you as you guys started dating, while yours for her only increased? The answer to that question would be that you were a different person when you first met her. When you first met her you were layed back and confident, then as time progressed you became a chump all over again. Even after you have met the girl date other girls and have a lot of options, because you never know whether she will be attracted to you or not, and keep alot of girls in reserve, so you don't become dependant, because you never know what will happen. Hell, even if you are in an exclusive relationship and do not want to cheat, still make sure you always have girls in reserve, and are always meeting new ones, because life is unpredictable. Dont constantly think about her, try to have other things on your mind and go out and do things to get your mind off of women in general. Let her call you and talk to you, let her know you are independent and don't need her.
If you find out she isn't attracted to you, don't go off on her, just brush it off and act like nothing happened and you don't need her, and also don't settle for any of that "We can still be friends" bullcrap they give you, cause that won't work out, just remove them from your life, because if no attraction is there, you shouldn't be sticking around with her. You should be fine if it doesn't work out because you have tons of girls that would die to have you, right? You are the man, and any girl would be lucky to be able to enjoy your company, so go out and play the field, and get your mind off her. If you do those things, then she will be out of your mind in no time. If you followed the steps, then next time you won't put her on a pedestal to begin with. There is a fine line between being in a relationship and being obsessed. You can be in a relationship and still be a player about it.
Most people have to learn the lesson I just explained the hard way, but if you can prevent this situation from happening, you can save yourself alot of time, trouble, and anger. Just don't become dependant on a girl, always know she is not perfect, and she is lucky to have you.
Brought to you by:
SuperMan
www.overnightplayer.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_Needham
pedestaling pedestalling pedastaling
relationship magic
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
What A Soul Mate Relationship is Really All About
By Barbara Rose, Ph.D.
OK - let's get down to the myths and facts about what a soul mate relationship is REALLY all about to clear up what society has created... an illusion of rainbows and ice cream without a care in the world. That is the myth.
The other myth is, that your soul mate is the only person on the planet that you can be happy with. First, we are all spiritual and human beings. On the spiritual level, when soul mates meet, there is that instant “knowing” or familiarity, and there is a feeling of Heaven on Earth.
This is the soul's remembrance of the love and the bond you shared from past lives, and the bond of love is eternal, so naturally you will feel as if you are picking up from where you left off, because you really are.
Now, once you meet and go through this initial stage of bliss, then the ego, on the personality level, feels as if you are “complete” now that you have your soul mate in your life. What is happening at this point is that the expectations of the relationship, stemming from the ego or personality level, are going to trigger the ego responses of your soul mate, and this is where the resistance begins... the disappointments, the feelings of doubt... yet the love is still very powerful and strong.
The reason why you met in this life is to heal old karmic patterns on a soul level, where parts of your personality need to be healed, and so on a soul level you and your soul mate will trigger and bring to the surface, all that you each came into this life to heal.
This is a most difficult process, one filled with pain and turmoil, as you each begin to see the issues the other person has to heal, and then on the personality level you begin to blame, or wish they could change.
You see their highest and best from the beginning, and they show their vast potential, yet at the same time, they are showing all of their weaknesses and split apart levels of Self that need to be healed, and integrated into wholeness... and the same is true for you.
Every issue, on a deep core soul level, that you came into this life to heal, will be triggered by your soul mate. Let me tell you that this is a grueling process, as we have to face our own areas of lack of self worth and heal them.
It all comes down to Self Love... because as you truly love Self, then many of the expectations of the other are released, then there is another component of the soul mate relationship where each of you must grow and heal.
Spiritual law forbids that soul mates remain together if one is not healing. For example, if one of you is there no matter what, and the other cannot be there, like a dear friend would be, you would hopefully grow with enough self love to understand that the other person is growing and doing their best with their current level of growth, and at the same time, you do deserve someone in your life who can, reciprocate in a healthy and loving manner.
This is why many soul mates do not spend the rest of their lives together. Although the love and care never die, each one has to take full responsibility to become their highest and best, and it is your soul mate who will get you to see the areas that are in the most need of healing.
As far as the reasons for why more highly evolved soul mates come together, it is to make a contribution for the betterment of any level of life on Earth. Soul mates who have grown through their challenges on the personal level, are then ready to contribute their highest and best,
as well as their authentic life purpose. This is the joy of the soul mate union.
Now, if you are “looking for your soul mate”, I can tell you that what you are looking for, is for all of your deep rooted issues to be brought to Light to be healed and resolved. This will take just about everything you've got inside, to heal, become whole and fully integrated on the personality level, and the soul level. This is a vastly difficult process.
Now if you have met your soul mate, and you are going through difficulty, this is where it is vital for you to turn the focus onto your areas that need to be healed, rather than focus on the other, because they are your mirror to come to inner and outer wholeness.
So when you say: "I wish he/she could be there for me more", replace their name and put “I” instead, “I wish I could be there for me more.” This is the mirror reflection of the “soul level” issue that is crying out for healing.
It is so easy to see the other person's issue, and it is a big blast to our ego to turn the spotlight onto our own selves. So the myth is that this union is a land of perfection and sunshine.
Please remember, that your soul mate is also in this life, in Earth school, to heal and grow, just like you are, just like we all are. And to place tremendous expectations on the other person, is fulfilling ego desire and attachment... it is not self healing.
We have to view both ourselves, and the other, with tremendous compassion and unconditional understanding. We have to release all judgment and criticism, both for them, and especially for ourselves.
Now, many soul mates do come together, and can break up, do some healing, and return again and again. This is quite common because the love never dies. What is happening here is that during the times apart, each person is doing their own self reflection and growth to become the highest and best you came into this life to be.
So after some time apart, we get to see how we could have done a better job, we are growing, so then you will find you may come back together again. We can't continue the pain of wishing it “could” be a different way... this keeps us, our ego, and our personality in a prison of inner turmoil. We have to accept the person as they are now.
Here is another analogy for you. If someone is sick, and they sneeze, would you get all upset and take it personally? No of course not.
So it is the same when your ego and personality “react” to what they do or say out of expectation, rather than out of loving compassion and understanding. Each one is doing his and her own best, so do not take it into the core of your being (like I used to), and let it throw you into turmoil.
The more self love you gain the more compassion and understanding you will be able to give... Also, you really have to trust that sometimes soul mates are meant to stay together, after a long period of healing.
Other soul mate relationships must end, because one or both refuse to heal. The bond and the love are the deepest you will ever experience, and the personal growth and transformation will be the deepest of any relationship you have.
However, it can be a real rocky road, filled with tears and pain as you each struggle to grow into wholeness, which is the purpose of the soul mate relationship. We came into this life to grow, not stagnate. After we have healed our core issues, we can have much more of that bliss like you did in the beginning. This is why it is so important to focus on the issues your ego and expectations you are holding on to, so that you can grow, heal, and experience this bliss of Self Love, with zero ego attachment.
Once you reach this stage (It took me 4 years), then you will be free from pain. The ego gives way when we come into wholeness, and then we are free. We are also loving and compassionate towards our soul mate. If you are together or not, there is more understanding because the old ego needs are gone.
© Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
Barbara Rose, PhD. most widely known as "Born To Inspire" is the best selling author of "Know Yourself", "If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!", "Stop Being the String Along", "If God Was Like Man" and Individual Power. She is an internationally recognized expert in personal transformation, relationships and spiritual awakening. Barbara is a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the study and integration of humanity’s God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, tele-seminars, internationally published articles, and intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. She is the founder of IHSC -Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine and Rose Humanitarian Alliance.
Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Visit her website http://www.borntoinspire.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Barbara_Rose,_Ph.D.
relationship magic
OK - let's get down to the myths and facts about what a soul mate relationship is REALLY all about to clear up what society has created... an illusion of rainbows and ice cream without a care in the world. That is the myth.
The other myth is, that your soul mate is the only person on the planet that you can be happy with. First, we are all spiritual and human beings. On the spiritual level, when soul mates meet, there is that instant “knowing” or familiarity, and there is a feeling of Heaven on Earth.
This is the soul's remembrance of the love and the bond you shared from past lives, and the bond of love is eternal, so naturally you will feel as if you are picking up from where you left off, because you really are.
Now, once you meet and go through this initial stage of bliss, then the ego, on the personality level, feels as if you are “complete” now that you have your soul mate in your life. What is happening at this point is that the expectations of the relationship, stemming from the ego or personality level, are going to trigger the ego responses of your soul mate, and this is where the resistance begins... the disappointments, the feelings of doubt... yet the love is still very powerful and strong.
The reason why you met in this life is to heal old karmic patterns on a soul level, where parts of your personality need to be healed, and so on a soul level you and your soul mate will trigger and bring to the surface, all that you each came into this life to heal.
This is a most difficult process, one filled with pain and turmoil, as you each begin to see the issues the other person has to heal, and then on the personality level you begin to blame, or wish they could change.
You see their highest and best from the beginning, and they show their vast potential, yet at the same time, they are showing all of their weaknesses and split apart levels of Self that need to be healed, and integrated into wholeness... and the same is true for you.
Every issue, on a deep core soul level, that you came into this life to heal, will be triggered by your soul mate. Let me tell you that this is a grueling process, as we have to face our own areas of lack of self worth and heal them.
It all comes down to Self Love... because as you truly love Self, then many of the expectations of the other are released, then there is another component of the soul mate relationship where each of you must grow and heal.
Spiritual law forbids that soul mates remain together if one is not healing. For example, if one of you is there no matter what, and the other cannot be there, like a dear friend would be, you would hopefully grow with enough self love to understand that the other person is growing and doing their best with their current level of growth, and at the same time, you do deserve someone in your life who can, reciprocate in a healthy and loving manner.
This is why many soul mates do not spend the rest of their lives together. Although the love and care never die, each one has to take full responsibility to become their highest and best, and it is your soul mate who will get you to see the areas that are in the most need of healing.
As far as the reasons for why more highly evolved soul mates come together, it is to make a contribution for the betterment of any level of life on Earth. Soul mates who have grown through their challenges on the personal level, are then ready to contribute their highest and best,
as well as their authentic life purpose. This is the joy of the soul mate union.
Now, if you are “looking for your soul mate”, I can tell you that what you are looking for, is for all of your deep rooted issues to be brought to Light to be healed and resolved. This will take just about everything you've got inside, to heal, become whole and fully integrated on the personality level, and the soul level. This is a vastly difficult process.
Now if you have met your soul mate, and you are going through difficulty, this is where it is vital for you to turn the focus onto your areas that need to be healed, rather than focus on the other, because they are your mirror to come to inner and outer wholeness.
So when you say: "I wish he/she could be there for me more", replace their name and put “I” instead, “I wish I could be there for me more.” This is the mirror reflection of the “soul level” issue that is crying out for healing.
It is so easy to see the other person's issue, and it is a big blast to our ego to turn the spotlight onto our own selves. So the myth is that this union is a land of perfection and sunshine.
Please remember, that your soul mate is also in this life, in Earth school, to heal and grow, just like you are, just like we all are. And to place tremendous expectations on the other person, is fulfilling ego desire and attachment... it is not self healing.
We have to view both ourselves, and the other, with tremendous compassion and unconditional understanding. We have to release all judgment and criticism, both for them, and especially for ourselves.
Now, many soul mates do come together, and can break up, do some healing, and return again and again. This is quite common because the love never dies. What is happening here is that during the times apart, each person is doing their own self reflection and growth to become the highest and best you came into this life to be.
So after some time apart, we get to see how we could have done a better job, we are growing, so then you will find you may come back together again. We can't continue the pain of wishing it “could” be a different way... this keeps us, our ego, and our personality in a prison of inner turmoil. We have to accept the person as they are now.
Here is another analogy for you. If someone is sick, and they sneeze, would you get all upset and take it personally? No of course not.
So it is the same when your ego and personality “react” to what they do or say out of expectation, rather than out of loving compassion and understanding. Each one is doing his and her own best, so do not take it into the core of your being (like I used to), and let it throw you into turmoil.
The more self love you gain the more compassion and understanding you will be able to give... Also, you really have to trust that sometimes soul mates are meant to stay together, after a long period of healing.
Other soul mate relationships must end, because one or both refuse to heal. The bond and the love are the deepest you will ever experience, and the personal growth and transformation will be the deepest of any relationship you have.
However, it can be a real rocky road, filled with tears and pain as you each struggle to grow into wholeness, which is the purpose of the soul mate relationship. We came into this life to grow, not stagnate. After we have healed our core issues, we can have much more of that bliss like you did in the beginning. This is why it is so important to focus on the issues your ego and expectations you are holding on to, so that you can grow, heal, and experience this bliss of Self Love, with zero ego attachment.
Once you reach this stage (It took me 4 years), then you will be free from pain. The ego gives way when we come into wholeness, and then we are free. We are also loving and compassionate towards our soul mate. If you are together or not, there is more understanding because the old ego needs are gone.
© Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
Barbara Rose, PhD. most widely known as "Born To Inspire" is the best selling author of "Know Yourself", "If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!", "Stop Being the String Along", "If God Was Like Man" and Individual Power. She is an internationally recognized expert in personal transformation, relationships and spiritual awakening. Barbara is a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the study and integration of humanity’s God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, tele-seminars, internationally published articles, and intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. She is the founder of IHSC -Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine and Rose Humanitarian Alliance.
Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Visit her website http://www.borntoinspire.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Barbara_Rose,_Ph.D.
relationship magic
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Hi-tech Romance
By Vishii Rita Krocha
Two screens connected to the world outside. Two complete strangers- faceless but having two minds that thinks. No reservations, no second thinking. Sometimes the conversation goes from ticking of the clock to anything big. It ranges from simple joys and silly things to careers and fascinating dreams.
Sit and type your thoughts. Somehow the stranger slowly gets unveiled. Internet – a place where you’re all alone with the whole world at once, knowledge giver, a hub of meeting people who would change your life eventually. Putting the busy world to rest, just with a tiny window open on your screen, you might just be conversing with your-to-be better half.
Love happens in all the strangest places. And as time advances us to an age where everything’s going hi-tech, internet has become one famous place where people start their search. And with hundreds already having found ‘the one’ through simple typing, initially not even having the faintest idea about the person on the other side of the screen, chatting is one of the most possible means to connect hearts.
Blowing kisses through wires and sharing make believe moments over the net, just letting your fingers work on the keys and do the talking of the heart, unseen still but you’re not far from reality. Virtual things get more real than you can imagine.
All you have might just be a screen in front of you, but somehow you are connected to the person on the other side of it. Human minds function in such a way that sometimes all you really relish on are some lines that does the magic of it all.
Odd as it can get, it’s always on your mind. That one hour of chatting! Maybe two or three or even more and the next thing you want to do is log in again where you left your heart, chat about the same old things and it never bores. Well, you’re probably in the clutches of hi-tech romance.
Eventually the story goes, like any other love stories you meet, fall in love all over again. This time not just with the faceless stranger but the person in whole. Sometimes love is just at your doorway, in your fingertips. Hi-tech romance is the best thing going.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vishii_Rita_Krocha
relationship magic
Two screens connected to the world outside. Two complete strangers- faceless but having two minds that thinks. No reservations, no second thinking. Sometimes the conversation goes from ticking of the clock to anything big. It ranges from simple joys and silly things to careers and fascinating dreams.
Sit and type your thoughts. Somehow the stranger slowly gets unveiled. Internet – a place where you’re all alone with the whole world at once, knowledge giver, a hub of meeting people who would change your life eventually. Putting the busy world to rest, just with a tiny window open on your screen, you might just be conversing with your-to-be better half.
Love happens in all the strangest places. And as time advances us to an age where everything’s going hi-tech, internet has become one famous place where people start their search. And with hundreds already having found ‘the one’ through simple typing, initially not even having the faintest idea about the person on the other side of the screen, chatting is one of the most possible means to connect hearts.
Blowing kisses through wires and sharing make believe moments over the net, just letting your fingers work on the keys and do the talking of the heart, unseen still but you’re not far from reality. Virtual things get more real than you can imagine.
All you have might just be a screen in front of you, but somehow you are connected to the person on the other side of it. Human minds function in such a way that sometimes all you really relish on are some lines that does the magic of it all.
Odd as it can get, it’s always on your mind. That one hour of chatting! Maybe two or three or even more and the next thing you want to do is log in again where you left your heart, chat about the same old things and it never bores. Well, you’re probably in the clutches of hi-tech romance.
Eventually the story goes, like any other love stories you meet, fall in love all over again. This time not just with the faceless stranger but the person in whole. Sometimes love is just at your doorway, in your fingertips. Hi-tech romance is the best thing going.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vishii_Rita_Krocha
relationship magic
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Stop Acting from Fear in Your Relationships
By Dr. Jackie Black relationship magic
Recently a workshop participant reported that the gentleman she is dating is a great person, he takes very good care of her, but there just isn’t the romantic chemistry that she wants to feel. Another participant complained of missing feeling the attraction that he has felt with other women, yet, his current lady really loves him and treats him better than anyone ever treated him before. They are in conflict about moving forward with their relationships.
Their comments reflect that there is emotional intimacy and closeness missing in the nature of their connection, not just sexual attraction. Were it not for the fact that they feel loved, are taken care of and are treated better than ever before, neither would be considering creating life-long partnerships. The behaviors they are valuing are nice, but they are not enough on which to build a life-long love relationship that will stand the test of time!
If these stories are familiar to you, think about your last relationship and ask yourself the following questions:
· Where were you in your relationship picture? That is, did your wants & needs, hopes & dreams, ideas, beliefs, and values matter to you as much as those of your partner?
· Did you love him or her?
· Did you respect her and feel respected by her?
· Did the two of you learn how to hear each other and communicate when you were hurt, angry, disappointed, or disagreed about differences?
· Did you like yourself and how you felt when you were together?
· Did being in the presence of one another enrich you?
We frequently make decisions about love relationships based on fear, disillusionment, or a belief that we have to settle. We are afraid that we aren’t going to find anyone who will cherish us and accept our faults. We are disillusioned about love though we make every effort not to act from the hurt and resentment of the past. We settle because well-intentioned others remind us that life is about compromise. And we become willing to compromise away the very nature of our being.
Resist creating relationships because it is safe and you are afraid. Acting from fear can never result in the rich, comfortable relationship that is your heart’s desire. Trust your goodness and “enoughness”. Recognize that you can co-create a life-long partnership that will honor, encourage, and nurture your best self.
Have the courage to be present for yourself and others will be present for you.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005
If you like this article, please read more about
Dr. Jackie’s relationship dating advice and help for issues and problems.
This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name, web site, email address and telephone number.
Dr. Jackie is an internationally recognized relationship expert, educator and coach. Advice and coaching about personal relationships is Dr. Jackie's passion. Her goal is to inspire and support single men, single women and couples through the challenges and pitfalls of dating, loving and building lasting, committed relationships in today's fast-paced world. Dr. Jackie's Relationship Coaching Programs and Groups, her Blog, downloadable PodCasts and her Internet streaming radio show are jam-packed with valuable dating tips and strategies.
Check out Dr. Jackie's Podcasts here:
http://www.relationshiptalkpodcast.com
Check out Dr. Jackie's Blog here:
http://www.askdrjackie.com
1.866.419.5928
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jackie_Black
relationship magic
Recently a workshop participant reported that the gentleman she is dating is a great person, he takes very good care of her, but there just isn’t the romantic chemistry that she wants to feel. Another participant complained of missing feeling the attraction that he has felt with other women, yet, his current lady really loves him and treats him better than anyone ever treated him before. They are in conflict about moving forward with their relationships.
Their comments reflect that there is emotional intimacy and closeness missing in the nature of their connection, not just sexual attraction. Were it not for the fact that they feel loved, are taken care of and are treated better than ever before, neither would be considering creating life-long partnerships. The behaviors they are valuing are nice, but they are not enough on which to build a life-long love relationship that will stand the test of time!
If these stories are familiar to you, think about your last relationship and ask yourself the following questions:
· Where were you in your relationship picture? That is, did your wants & needs, hopes & dreams, ideas, beliefs, and values matter to you as much as those of your partner?
· Did you love him or her?
· Did you respect her and feel respected by her?
· Did the two of you learn how to hear each other and communicate when you were hurt, angry, disappointed, or disagreed about differences?
· Did you like yourself and how you felt when you were together?
· Did being in the presence of one another enrich you?
We frequently make decisions about love relationships based on fear, disillusionment, or a belief that we have to settle. We are afraid that we aren’t going to find anyone who will cherish us and accept our faults. We are disillusioned about love though we make every effort not to act from the hurt and resentment of the past. We settle because well-intentioned others remind us that life is about compromise. And we become willing to compromise away the very nature of our being.
Resist creating relationships because it is safe and you are afraid. Acting from fear can never result in the rich, comfortable relationship that is your heart’s desire. Trust your goodness and “enoughness”. Recognize that you can co-create a life-long partnership that will honor, encourage, and nurture your best self.
Have the courage to be present for yourself and others will be present for you.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005
If you like this article, please read more about
Dr. Jackie’s relationship dating advice and help for issues and problems.
This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name, web site, email address and telephone number.
Dr. Jackie is an internationally recognized relationship expert, educator and coach. Advice and coaching about personal relationships is Dr. Jackie's passion. Her goal is to inspire and support single men, single women and couples through the challenges and pitfalls of dating, loving and building lasting, committed relationships in today's fast-paced world. Dr. Jackie's Relationship Coaching Programs and Groups, her Blog, downloadable PodCasts and her Internet streaming radio show are jam-packed with valuable dating tips and strategies.
Check out Dr. Jackie's Podcasts here:
http://www.relationshiptalkpodcast.com
Check out Dr. Jackie's Blog here:
http://www.askdrjackie.com
1.866.419.5928
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jackie_Black
relationship magic
Sunday, June 04, 2006
She Revealed This Success Principle From 12,147 Feet Above
By Keith Matthew and Laura Roman Lopez
Laura and I just returned from a 10-day getaway to Disney World and I have to say - I feel GREAT!
I love to help people start businesses and live their dreams - so much that sometimes I forget what it's like to play :)
During the plane ride back from the place where "Dreams Come True," our 6-year old, Elina, suddenly turned around and dropped a success principle on me that Walt Disney himself would have been proud of!
Pay attention here because a 6-year old is about to teach us all something about success:
Ready? Elina practically whispered this into my ear:
"You know, sometimes there are foods I don't really like. I just don't like to eat them. But I do. And over time, I start to get used to them. Eventually...it's not so bad."
I sat there and just stared at her in amazement. Elina had just shared with me a success principle that I knew I just had to pass on to you as soon as we got back to New York.
Like all things in life, this principle can be either an 'Achilles Heal' or a panacea for dramatically increasing your personal development and success this year.
It's what you do with it that makes the difference.
You see, many of us are doing things we don't want to be doing; things that don't bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Many of us are doing things we don't want to be doing. Things that don't bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Don't let yourself stay stuck in a job, relationship or situation that you KNOW isn't good for you. That doesn't bring out your passion for life and it certainly won't uplift the people around you.
Sure, over time you may come to see it as "not so bad."
But at what price?
Life goes by too quickly to settle for working a lousy job, or being in an unfulfilling relationship.
Don't settle.
Be honest with yourself too. (I've come to realize that a lot of my discontents stem from WITHIN and not from my partner).
Don't settle for less than what's great within yourself.
When you push yourself to be greater than you were yesterday, a lot of times your work, family and other relationships will 'Magically Transform.'
That brings us to the other side of the coin with this success principle.
All successful people do things that need to be done but no one else wants to do.
Can it be uncomfortable?
ABSOLUTELY! You bet it can!
Carving out a space for your dreams and aspirations from a day that's already filled to the brim can be like eating that vegetable you never liked (mine was spinach).
But I can assure you it gets easier.
Just do the right thing: again and again and again.
Then watch for results.
Over time, you'll see: it's not so bad. It's even pretty good!
You'll begin to believe...I can do this!
Then you'll start succeeding in a BIG way.
Keith Matthew and Laura Roman Lopez have been teaching wealth attraction techniques for 12 years. If you're ready to double your income this year, then go to http://www.pathwaystopower.com/ns-freeworkshop.html and sign up for a Free 7-Day Success Workshop.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Keith_Matthew
Laura and I just returned from a 10-day getaway to Disney World and I have to say - I feel GREAT!
I love to help people start businesses and live their dreams - so much that sometimes I forget what it's like to play :)
During the plane ride back from the place where "Dreams Come True," our 6-year old, Elina, suddenly turned around and dropped a success principle on me that Walt Disney himself would have been proud of!
Pay attention here because a 6-year old is about to teach us all something about success:
Ready? Elina practically whispered this into my ear:
"You know, sometimes there are foods I don't really like. I just don't like to eat them. But I do. And over time, I start to get used to them. Eventually...it's not so bad."
I sat there and just stared at her in amazement. Elina had just shared with me a success principle that I knew I just had to pass on to you as soon as we got back to New York.
Like all things in life, this principle can be either an 'Achilles Heal' or a panacea for dramatically increasing your personal development and success this year.
It's what you do with it that makes the difference.
You see, many of us are doing things we don't want to be doing; things that don't bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Many of us are doing things we don't want to be doing. Things that don't bring us joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Don't let yourself stay stuck in a job, relationship or situation that you KNOW isn't good for you. That doesn't bring out your passion for life and it certainly won't uplift the people around you.
Sure, over time you may come to see it as "not so bad."
But at what price?
Life goes by too quickly to settle for working a lousy job, or being in an unfulfilling relationship.
Don't settle.
Be honest with yourself too. (I've come to realize that a lot of my discontents stem from WITHIN and not from my partner).
Don't settle for less than what's great within yourself.
When you push yourself to be greater than you were yesterday, a lot of times your work, family and other relationships will 'Magically Transform.'
That brings us to the other side of the coin with this success principle.
All successful people do things that need to be done but no one else wants to do.
Can it be uncomfortable?
ABSOLUTELY! You bet it can!
Carving out a space for your dreams and aspirations from a day that's already filled to the brim can be like eating that vegetable you never liked (mine was spinach).
But I can assure you it gets easier.
Just do the right thing: again and again and again.
Then watch for results.
Over time, you'll see: it's not so bad. It's even pretty good!
You'll begin to believe...I can do this!
Then you'll start succeeding in a BIG way.
Keith Matthew and Laura Roman Lopez have been teaching wealth attraction techniques for 12 years. If you're ready to double your income this year, then go to http://www.pathwaystopower.com/ns-freeworkshop.html and sign up for a Free 7-Day Success Workshop.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Keith_Matthew
Friday, May 26, 2006
Relationships - Why Do You Have A Partner?
Relationship Magic
Relationships - Why Do You Have A Partner?
by CD Mohatta
From what one reads in forums on relationships, it seems that most of the relationships manage to give more pain than joy after some time. The rise in divorce rates is an indicator to this. Why have relationship if that will give more pain than pleasure to both the partners? Don't you also ask this question? It is becoming so difficult to keep a healthy relationship that one feels that he/she is coming from one office to another office. Where is the home with freedom, acceptance and love?
Relationships are becoming ego problems. Communication needs to be guarded. Wishes have to be taken care of. Sacrifices have to be made. Individuality has to be killed. Compromises have to be made at every step. Even after making many compromises, the relationship may break. One feels broken after making so much effort and find that nothing was of any use. It seems that either most of us are getting caught up with wrong partners or the break-ups occur very fast.
When I watch children playing, birds flying and fish swimming so carelessly, I envy them. We adults have lost all the freedom because of relationships. Most of us at least have lost a lot that was individual. Why have relationships if they are expected to fail. Is it triumph of hope over reality as someone said? Even when we look around and find so many broken relationships, we tend to form new. After having repeated break-ups, we want more. Why do we do that, though we know that the result is more pain? What drives us to form new relationships? Why not live alone and enjoy the independence?
The author C.D.Mohatta writes articles, advice and ideas at http://www.yourromanceguide.com/ on topics like love, dating, marriage, relationships, break-ups, etc. He also writes for screen-savers and desktop wallpapers at http://www.screene.com/ on topics like nature, spirituality, motivation, love-romance, holidays, animals, etc. All the downloads of animated screensavers and desktop wallpapers is free. You can send free ecards on all the topics from http://www.ecarduniverse.com/ - it has free ecards on holidays, birthday, love, friendship, family, expressions, celebrations and all events and occasions.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=CD_Mohatta
Relationship Magic
Relationships - Why Do You Have A Partner?
by CD Mohatta
From what one reads in forums on relationships, it seems that most of the relationships manage to give more pain than joy after some time. The rise in divorce rates is an indicator to this. Why have relationship if that will give more pain than pleasure to both the partners? Don't you also ask this question? It is becoming so difficult to keep a healthy relationship that one feels that he/she is coming from one office to another office. Where is the home with freedom, acceptance and love?
Relationships are becoming ego problems. Communication needs to be guarded. Wishes have to be taken care of. Sacrifices have to be made. Individuality has to be killed. Compromises have to be made at every step. Even after making many compromises, the relationship may break. One feels broken after making so much effort and find that nothing was of any use. It seems that either most of us are getting caught up with wrong partners or the break-ups occur very fast.
When I watch children playing, birds flying and fish swimming so carelessly, I envy them. We adults have lost all the freedom because of relationships. Most of us at least have lost a lot that was individual. Why have relationships if they are expected to fail. Is it triumph of hope over reality as someone said? Even when we look around and find so many broken relationships, we tend to form new. After having repeated break-ups, we want more. Why do we do that, though we know that the result is more pain? What drives us to form new relationships? Why not live alone and enjoy the independence?
The author C.D.Mohatta writes articles, advice and ideas at http://www.yourromanceguide.com/ on topics like love, dating, marriage, relationships, break-ups, etc. He also writes for screen-savers and desktop wallpapers at http://www.screene.com/ on topics like nature, spirituality, motivation, love-romance, holidays, animals, etc. All the downloads of animated screensavers and desktop wallpapers is free. You can send free ecards on all the topics from http://www.ecarduniverse.com/ - it has free ecards on holidays, birthday, love, friendship, family, expressions, celebrations and all events and occasions.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=CD_Mohatta
Relationship Magic
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